CONTEST:Don't be a douche.Be a Winner! #RETWEET for a chance to pick ur prize: Blue October The Offspring or Buzzfest34 pic.x.com/uMoqYJkyQe

Great whiskey takes big balls

Love Chrissy Seaver!!!#blindspot #growingpains

I drink my whiskey neat #ThatsWhyImOverQualified

I can use a key map, a phone book, AND an encyclopedia #ThatsWhyImOverQualified

Need an excuse to skip work/school today? Download. Print. Thank Houston Astros Orbit ! Let's go 'Stros! #Astros #ALDS

Come watch the Houston Astros crush the Kansas City Royals ! Today Blair. Poker at 7! Birthday party for Emily at 7.

Three day weekend #MakeMondayBetterIn3Words

Astros take royals #MakeMondayBetterIn3Words

Love your kids #MakeMondayBetterIn3Words

Drink more whiskey #MakeMondayBetterIn3Words

This whiskey, maple syrup and chocolate bitters cocktail is the perfect winter warmer: bit.ly/1Q42f0T

Now hiring....

(1/2) CONGRATULATIONS Matthew Olivares Rachel Switalski Jak! We will DM you a code for 10 FREE CREDITS. #FCF

#thecraftory mmmmmm churros...

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#GIVEAWAY! RT & Follow for your chance to win our exclusive French #whisky giftpack - including 2 high-end glasses!

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#customersnotalwaysright

Need some #Advice? Retweet now to get some exclusive tips from the cast of #BadMoms!