My dealer: got some straight gas 🔥😛 this strain is called “the fall of Rome” 😳 you’ll be zonked out of your gourd 💯 Me: yeah whatever. I don’t feel shit. 5 minutes later: dude I swear I just saw some Gauls in the forest My buddy Phillip pacing: the senate is lying to us

Algorithm: noticed u lingered on this pic of a frog for 14 seconds Me: I was refilling my vape Algorithm: got some more frogs for ya. frog freak. u like that

I cannot believe I got selected to apply for a Venmo credit card. Things are really starting to turn around for me

just learned the only way out is through

Can’t talk rn. In the lab. Cooking up. Big things coming.

date offered me her hot tub and started cutting up carrots into it after i got in am i cooked

Phsyically in the office but mentally pushing Flag B on Nuketown

did not

what’s even the fucking point then

I think all rivalry games should end in a giant brawl

When I’m drunk and realize there is a TouchTunes.

The hardest thing about chess is the other guy is always doing some shit

fuuuuck i just realized that the future idealized version of myself cant exist without current me being the catalyst for change and doing hard things. has anybody heard about this