idk maybe its just me but womens sports just arent up to par..

Almost didn’t make it to the dentist still managed to hold my farts in tho

im a tits guy. i just love tits

my priest is wearing AF1s

“im gonna pick the corn out my shit and eat it again, no shot it comes out whole the second time” -ryan archer

there is only one thing in this world that i know is free, and thats muzzy rides. with that being said, im honored to be growing my muzzy out the rest of summer, ladies the dm’s are open 8am-12am mon-fri, saturday 8am-4am, closed on sunday like chik fil a

fuck off with reposting venmo on your insta story you broke bitches

uncle same took my virginity, so today i drink to him. cheers america

red bull didnt give me wings it gave me stank dick

call me old fashioned but i just love tits in my face

just got wind that Maroon 5 is actually responsible for 9/11, per source

we were banned for a minute but we ARE. SO. BACK. pissing my pants tonight in honor of Twitter bending me over

if woodsy babe wins the masters ill live stream myself eating the meat mountain

just another day being a huge beauty

just another friday being a huge beauty

i want to get naughty tonight, im talking piss with my pants at my ankle in the bar bathroom

such a moneybagg yo kinda day

imagine graduating college. im staying here forever. miss you hefel

roommates are watching shindlers list for a class. “might be disrespectful to the people of the holocaust but im going to make some popcorn”

fuck you . hope u habe mo fun the rest of ur life