Hey Metro Forward, I don't need a smaller version of the system map that is printed on the other side of the doors. Give me back my current/future stop info!

Is…walking across 6 lane highways in your country legal?

the concept of thinking a nj highway driver would stop for u 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Raising kids in DC will have your 11yo giving a fake name for her food truck order because “that’s just basic opsec, mom”

Yes!!! Deport people who wave the Confederate flag!!!!!!!

hateeeee when virginia is in the news because everyone finds out about goochland again lmfao

Whoever named Red Delicious apples was off their meds that day.

"Oh for fuck's sake what now" - me when asked to do the job I was hired to do

If you hear “stand right, walk left” on a DC escalator, just know you pushed someone to their limit.

the wmata ceo being hacked and the tweet is about buying a CAR

[trying to figure out if my friend’s new boyfriend is on the spectrum] is he… you know… a friend of the metropolitan transportation authority

shane and ilya picking up their daughter at school and saw her talking to a boy

Omg these AI flyers are getting out of hand. Every municipality and elected official are using AI to create them but then bitching about data centers being built in their areas. Stop using AI for everything ffs.

One of those things you just kind of had to be there for

Unfortunately I do enjoy being ruder to someone who was rude to me first

hot take but i’m sick and tired of people calling this body type overweight

I didn’t see a single “it’s gonna be May” meme this year which is personally a massive relief, but culturally a signifier of something much darker.

If you whined and cried about the SB halftime show, I better not see you lifting your fucking margarita while eating a taco today. Fuck you. 😂

I love being gay but nothing has tested my patience more than dating men