Oh, so you put "I'm pregnant" as your status the minute it becomes April 1st? How original.

Oh, Your work on Facebook is listed as "Fucking Bitches"? Please tell me more about your sex life with female dogs.

I've been trying to remember Rihanna's ex-boyfriend's name all day... Oh wait, it just hit me!

@Itsalisha0k_ fixed?

@kirst_mcc hi, I'm Dave (one on the left)

@kirst_mcc no problem:)

I've got to indirect someone who's username is a Alex Turner song. With a 0 instead of an o, which makes him cool.

This 17-year-old likes me, awh. :')

@LaFayeVerte as in Brazilian Kaka?

@NearingTheBrink All in White ♥

OMFG. #cringe

@LaFayeVerte "What me and Justin Bieber did at Pontins". My new song. #TEASER 'getting gunged in his changing room with One Direction...'

@LaFayeVerte you like? Nice&Urban I reckon. :)

@LaFayeVerte aha ;) have a nice time in A&E, I'm getting shum sleep:)

If you don't like sneezing, I probably won't like you.

@LaFayeVerte off Jesus :]

Urgh, that woman on This Morning :&. The other one, :*

"idontappreciatebeingtoldhowtolivemylifebyanyone: Dear Samantha Brick, please stop flattering yourself, eventually your beauty will deteriorate" what beauty?

Who wants to sleep in a city that never wakes up, and blinded by nostalgia?

Beyonces got 3 million followers, and 1 tweet. I have 159 and 1800 and something.