C: the bacon was cold. I just couldn't eat it. *looks down at their empty plate* ... Looks to me like you did a fine job at eating it...

The next person to do a "that's not what I ordered" as an April fools (THEN LAUGHING AS IF THEY ARE ACTUALLY FUNNY) is going to get a slap.

A customer seriously asked me if their fried breakfast was fat free... You can visibly see the fat you fucking nutcase...

I sarcastically replied with "well yes, of course it is" and he ate it.

M: morning, what can I get you? C: why didn't the other lady serve me, she's stood behind a till ...That's BLATANTLY a coffee machine...

When you think you're alone... You put a handful of marshmallows in your mouth... Then realise the boss is watching you. Woops. Hahaha!

C: do you do paper cups? M: yes, we do C: can I have a tea in a paper cup because I'm allergic to coffee ...yeah, course you are...

Colleague: we haven't had a coffee machine breakdown in ages! *coffee machine stops working* YOU HAD TO SAY IT DIDN'T YOU?!

#dearcustomer:Prices are too high! M:I agree. DC:Then change it! M:It's Sunday. If I had any real power... I would close the fucking store.

*regular walks in and I haven't finished making their drink Yet" Them: you should be demoted Me: TO WHAT?! You cant get any lower than me.

Especially after Mother Day... #dearcustomer #mothersday #server #serverlife #tiporgohome #serverproblems #restaurant #waitressprobs

How my day at work ended: i knocked over a box of milk lids, instead of picking them up. i just crumpled to the floor hysterically laughing.

me: have we got jackets? cook: yep m: you sure? c: YES *puts through jacket* c: WE HAVEN'T GOT ANY JACKETS LEFT! are you fucking kidding me?

*family comes in for meal* *ONE person complains, everyone else eats theirs* *that ONE demands refund for ALL FIVE meals* no, fuck off

having to explain to customers that our scrambled eggs come in ready made portions is fucking degrading... enjoy your FRESH breakfast.

when your laziest coworker moans about what a "busy day its been" HOW THE FUCK WOULD YOU KNOW?!

Why are most customers incapable of reading the damn menu?!

"that's not a latte" It is literally my job to make coffee, I know what I'm doing so sit down, shut up and drink your LATTE!

*serving soup* C: no I can't eat that M: I'm sorry, what's wrong with it? C: *pointing at it* it's just, No. I won't eat it. Take it back.

C: you don't do gluen free stuff. Me: you can have a look in our allergen book, we have g/free options there C: No, that's not good enough