I don't think we need two-factor authorization to sign up for Jersey Mike's rewards program. I think we can play that one a little loose.

Ok, first off, a Tiger…swimming in the ocean? Tigers don’t even like water. If you placed it near a river, or some sort of fresh water source, that’d make sense. But you find yourself in the ocean, a 20 ft wave, I’m assuming its off the coast of South Africa, coming up against

i love going “streets are saying” before i say something i literally just made up

Anchor Bar turned off touchtunes. I have one guess as to why

The longer I work in corporate, the more I realize… the people making the decisions rarely understand the work.

Pediatrician: and does the baby sleep in the bassinet? Me: … the baby rages in the bassinet. Rages all night long. In the morning when it’s time to get up, the baby falls asleep on the bed when I put her down to change her clothes. Pediatrician: she’s safer in the bassinet.

I just turned 46. If you're in your 40s, do this:

Exactly what I said the day my Quinn was born.

A bunch of Russians and Swedes on teams from Canada and the United States beating the Christ out of each other to a Mexican song about the birth of a Jew. Hockey truly is a global sport.

Congratulations to Culver's Restaurants for serving what I think is the longest fast serve format French fry I’ve ever seen. A typical straw is 7.75” long

I must tell you, daylight starts to increase in 4 days.

We are the granddaughters of the grandmas you couldn’t run over with reindeers

So let me get this straight... Lane Kiffin takes LSU job, stating that recruiting to LSU, the stadium, etc. as a better chance to win a Natty than Ole Miss. Brings entire Offensive coaching staff, including stud OC Weis Jr who thinks they can land Chambliss if he gets waiver

“It’ll be called college football. The games will be primarily on Saturdays, so the sport can be properly observed when most people are off work that day and the next.” “Even the semifinals and championship, sir?” “Of course not! The semifinals will be Thursday and Friday,

Are people aware that the Second Amendment was explicitly intended to enable citizens to act as a check on federal power? Feels oddly under-discussed right now.

They will look you dead in the face and say J6 rioters with guns, poles, bats, etc were patriots, but an ER Nurse with a camera and a registered firearm was a domestic terrorist.

For those mad that Bad Bunny will performing mostly Spanish at halftime and won’t understand, we’ve been listening to Pearl Jam for years and still don’t know what Eddie Vedder is saying

People need to learn how to sit and be quiet and watch the world around them. You end up seeing and hearing some cool shit when you're not staring at a screen.

Can I name my child after a state? Submitted by Mike Yamiolkoski

The #WordOfTheDay is ‘subterfuge.’ ow.ly/pISB50Yz82L