Maybe: Jacki Von Preysing (@vonjacki) 's Twitter Profile
Maybe: Jacki Von Preysing

@vonjacki

Just a self proclaimed “slightly-above-average” witchy-poo who give birds the right of way.

ID: 2751722322

linkhttp://jackivonpreysing.com calendar_today21-08-2014 09:32:44

425 Tweet

163 Followers

284 Following

Maybe: Jacki Von Preysing (@vonjacki) 's Twitter Profile Photo

I want to support the bravery and dedication it takes to get on a train and sing for an unwilling audience- but if I wanted a dude to sing “Losing My Religion” at my face on his ukulele, I’d find my way back to a house party in 1993 and drink Zima til I black out.

Maybe: Jacki Von Preysing (@vonjacki) 's Twitter Profile Photo

Storage units are used for two things: emotional baggage and murder. Happy to say, after 2 years I’ve finally cleansed mine of all evidence...or “memories” as the emotionally woke kids like to say.

Maybe: Jacki Von Preysing (@vonjacki) 's Twitter Profile Photo

This quarantine has reawakened my love of The Sims. I may not be able to go out, meet people, or get some dick, but my little Sim creation can. And she will.

Maybe: Jacki Von Preysing (@vonjacki) 's Twitter Profile Photo

I don’t think we talk enough about the fact that at the end of “Itsy Bitsy Teeny Weenie Yellow Polka Dot Bikini” the girl would rather DIE IN THE OCEAN than have people see her beach bod. And when I say “we”, I mean you, because I talk about it all the time.

Maybe: Jacki Von Preysing (@vonjacki) 's Twitter Profile Photo

I allowed my google calendar to continue to remind me of a trip I’m not on, which in turn, reminds me of the sex I’m not having. The feeling in my gut everytime an alert pops up makes me feel alive. Deeply depressed and unbelievably horny...But alive.

Maybe: Jacki Von Preysing (@vonjacki) 's Twitter Profile Photo

I’m glad we’re wearing masks. People can’t see that I’m smiling at them, so they don’t spark a conversation . I feel so free.

caitie delaney (@caitiedelaney) 's Twitter Profile Photo

If you’re more scandalized by seeing people loot a Target than seeing cops kill a man in broad daylight it’s time to start investigating why that is

Oversight Committee Democrats (@oversightdems) 's Twitter Profile Photo

#BreonnaTaylor. Don’t forget her. Shot EIGHT times while she was asleep in her bed on March 13 when the police broke into the wrong home. It’s now JUNE, and the officers involved STILL haven’t been fired or charged. We demand #JusticeforBre. #SayHerName

#BreonnaTaylor. Don’t forget her. 

Shot EIGHT times while she was asleep in her bed on March 13 when the police broke into the wrong home. 

It’s now JUNE, and the officers involved STILL haven’t been fired or charged. 

We demand #JusticeforBre. #SayHerName
Natasha Rothwell (@natasharothwell) 's Twitter Profile Photo

Breonna Taylor's killers are still walking free. Breonna Taylor's killers are still walking free. Breonna Taylor's killers are still walking free. Breonna Taylor's killers are still walking free. Breonna Taylor's killers are still walking free.

Maybe: Jacki Von Preysing (@vonjacki) 's Twitter Profile Photo

My knockoff AirPods frequently cut out and I think they’re lightly shocking me...but I keep using them. This pattern of behavior also explains a lot of my adult relationships. My therapist would call this a breakthrough. I call it a reason to drink too early on a Monday.

Maybe: Jacki Von Preysing (@vonjacki) 's Twitter Profile Photo

Got carded at the grocery store by a young man who, after looking at my birthdate said “I thought you looked young....but....” —— so turns out keeping my youth with a center part only works til the kids do the math....