Shout out to everyone who regretted not having lived through the 60s. WELCOME TO #2020 BITCHES

Kind of wild to do union rep training and hear the acquiescence like...

Day 1 post- #Shera and my life is meaningless and I have nothing

My top three loves in life, in reverse order: 3. My husband 2. My children 1. The octopus from #MyOctopusTeacher

Wow. Trump ranting about "law enforcement" in a question about who should be trusted to deal with race issues is terrifyingly brazen. Imagine what he says when the mask's not on

Oh, dip, Biden just played the Irish Catholic card! This presidential debate just keeps getting better

#uhaulfamous ? This is a mural from U-Haul Geneva - is think the hashtag you were looking for was #uhaulracist

The US election has revealed that America is actually a brownie and only the side bits are any good

My kids are playing some sort of "game" where they are husband and wife and seem to be going through a hell of a divorce

Bernard, the wife, came screaming into the kitchen while Frieda, his "husband" came after him shouting roaring noises

Frieda has taken the broccoli toy, which Bernard straight threw at her when she screamed at him. He fell to the ground crying, "she took my child"

Good news! Bernard had said he will get another child! A dinosaur child!

Bernard has offered the dinosaur child to his husband. Will she accept this humiliating act of submission?

Yes! The couple are happily reunited, and appear to have established a horrifying orphanage for toys whose parents have died tragically. Ready for bed time. Night everyone ❤️

Oooh, no. It wasn't orphanage, they were child sacrifices, offered to a monster so it doesn't take them.

Just in case no one has mentioned it in the last five minutes, hey Paul Fletcher - you're an oozing cyst on Australia's taint. This will be the first of several hundred tweets in which I find new and exciting ways to call you a motherfucker #InvasionDay2021

me, when I wonder if I should stop calling Paul Fletcher a wrinkly little finger dicked, shit breathed, saggy balled, gigantic forehead motherfucker who should experiment with skydiving without a parachute

Sorry, is the claim Porter's kid ate his phone real? Are we just going to not talk about the physical impossibility of that?

my mind was not ready for Symone's black and white look RuPaul's Drag Race

One of my great joys in life is that my 5 year old's favourite song is Venom Little Simz