Wrapped day is fantastic because now I can confirm which of you waste 40,000 minutes every year listening to shit music

If you purchase tickets to a gordo set you should be BANISHED to north korea

Parking Ticket Enforcement son or DMV front desk Daughter?

Straight gang banging

I’m coming out of twitter retirement it’s back to being a crackhead online

I fucking love those 9 minutes in between snoozed alarms. My dreams really cook in 9 min intervals

Idk how to flirt I just called this girl selecta

Chicago needs a major crisis to put it at the top of the world map, so I am offering these locations for our very own 9/11

This is a euchre household

Sitting 3 seats away from my boy in an empty movie theater so nobody thinks we’re on a date

Petitioning to putting men wearing pashminas on the ban list for ARC Music Festival

If you have the barstool logo next to your Twitter name you best believe im hitting not interested in your tweets

Just one week post ARC Music Festival and Union park is once again returning to its natural state

Me after eating 3 quarts of pineapple trying to see if the rumors are true

Any brilliant economists out there wanna explain the chipotle outage in some of the most popular/densely populated areas of the city

Lotta people in my replies thinking I only eat at chipotle and have never eaten at a local Mexican joint is hilarious, I just happen to have free guac for my bday and wanted a local chipotle to pick up after my commute home lol

"not known for anything" and it's the home of chief keef, house music and footwork. oh brother

I need my boys girlfriend to get the fuck outta town so we can play video games for an entire weekend

#post ur explore page

Remember growing up in class they always said the vowels were a,e,i,o,u and sometimes y? Anyone know when y is a vowel or was that a good marketing campaign by y