Look what my dad texted in the family group after he walked my sister down the aisle to marry her 5th husband

twitter nowadays be like "do you want to see the same tweets over and over again 7 times in a row"

NIXON: I was in a room. Red. Everything red, the, the curtains, the floor, zigzag pattern on the floor. Very disorienting. Very…the lighting was not good, I’ll say that. Whoever was responsible for the lighting in this room was not- it wasn’t a well-lit room, Bob. HALDEMAN: No,

"Wanted to give a shout-out to this girl — I don’t know her name, but I won’t forget what I saw. We were on the rooftop at Old Crow Smokehouse in Wrigleyville when I noticed a blind Cubs fan trying to hail a cab. For several minutes, no one stopped. Then this young woman walked

“You know, the American riverboat pilot who wrote satire under a pseudonym and became the subject of controversy for using the word nigger?” “No, the other one”

“Just like your mom”

huge punk fan shocked that punk was never about gay retarded communism

American Airlines is resuming flights between Venezuela and New York City. GREAT NEWS for people trying to flee a third world communist shithole and go to VENEZUELA.

In light of James Carville’s recent comments, maybe Republicans should actually listen to me about this?

Translation: A man came in the bathroom. I could immediately tell it was a man due to hundreds of thousands of years of human evolution. Then I did what women have always done: managed his comfort so I wouldn’t have to manage his aggression.

So, only one side of the political aisle can get a fair trial in DC? Then abolish DC courts. They can no longer provide justice. Just politicized outcomes. Hell of an admission there Joyce.

Anti-billionaire group endorses billionaire. Perfect. No notes.

Growing up, it would be cool if one of these shows had Arnold Schwarzenegger on as a surprise guest. Now they unironically want you to get excited for John Kerry.

Even if VA Dems lose today, at least they got to close schools again.

Basically every story out of the UK now is either “Retarded foreigner destroys 1,000 year old artwork” or “The government is banning spoons”

Voted "no" today. Wanted to flip off the people with their "yes" booth. Decided not to. The days of wrath aren't here yet.

I have learned a lot about my fellow Virginians, and I don’t like it. This redistricting has brought out the most ugly hateful side of every person I’ve ever known. Democrats really do hate Trump more than they care about their friends and neighbors. I have been radicalized.

"We are a nation of immigrants" - Person who brings up the genocide of native Americans every fucking thanksgiving

Oh shut up. You are in a damn near 50/50 state & just disenfranchised half of it. I hope there is a serious move to make W. Va’s border move eastward significantly.