Kinda funny how cardinals change their name when they become pope like they’ve just come out as they/them or something

I need to go for a walk and sit on a park bench at the top of a hill for a few hours after reading the adem somyurek “shorts are considered haram” tweet

Read this as oomf-crisis for a sec it’s so over for me

This is such an “aristocrat forced to sell family estate after bourgeois revolution” look

Having Vietnamese iced coffee

I know it’s wrong but I do think it would be kind of fun to spread malware

Thinking about plump albo…

Going to the supermarket in Fitzroy

Getting flustered and talking like a sovereign citizen self-representing in the magistrates court

Me on Twitter making hurtful comments about people

Never liked British pubs. Feels like you gotta pay with ration cards or something and at any moment an air raid siren’s gonna go off

Accidentally projected the Kramer apology video to the living room tv while my housemate was having dinner with a friend

My first end of lease clean was such a formative experience. We packed a car full of industrial bin bags and drove round Thornbury in the dead of the night dumping them in people’s wheelie bins, floodlights going off, dogs barking at us. Felt like we were breaking into the Louvre

Many moons ago after going to a Turkish barber who cut my hair way too short then started whacking my face with a wet towel (as is apparently tradition)

Kinda need to go to a big foreign city on my own and just wander round for a couple of days

The broad categories of Melbourne comedy festival shows are:
1) Nanette
2) Autistic man on unicycle with several musical segments involving a keytar
3) Uhmmm are white people okay 🤨🎤
4) Hellloooo I’m shooort and I cahhn’t get any pussyyyy

I feel like that Mexican president who said he saw an elf in the forest

Every time I eavesdrop on New Zealanders they’re talking about like going to an “eex throwing place” or something

Finished my banh mi and Vietnamese iced coffee

Seems fucked up that Denmark gets to have Greenland….