When people start to notice your gym progress

when you the last big momma with no kids standing

the horrible moment when you realize you’re sick of all the songs in all your playlists

please get a library card even if you won’t use it because cities will look at library statistics and use that to decide to keep libraries open and properly funded

If you just bought a flight you’re already late and matter fact you missed it and actually it’s cancelled and somehow you’re also deported

This economy is so fckd you'll be sitting here thinking you're bad with money and all you did was buy food

No one warned me that once I got older, the weather app would be a crucial part of my daily routine.

What a privilege it is to afford a gym, buy healthy food, pay bills, have legs that walk, eyes that see, a brain that functions, work every day, and take our bodies to their full potential.

why is there a 38 person hold line for an audiobook at the library. why cant you just let 38 people listen to the audiobook

Nothing refreshes my memory of what I need at the grocery store like coming home from the grocery store.

April fools doesn’t hit the same living in a misinformation epidemic

Deciding which tik toks to send to which friends based on their humour and unhinged level is a job I take very seriously

“I don’t do politics” well now you doing 5 dollar gas nigga

me if there was an award for forgetting everything that happened in a book after i finish it

All I think about is buy buy buy buy buy like please

matter fact i’m slapping every lightskin nigga i see on the street today in solidarity

me liking every hate tweet about klay thompson

I want his ACL on my desk by monday.

and if i saw an alien i wouldn’t even give af honestly i got too much going on fr