(Not) Valley Forge HS (@valleyforgepcsd) 's Twitter Profile
(Not) Valley Forge HS

@valleyforgepcsd

(Parody) Twitter account for Valley Forge High School. Official Church of Knapp. Holding the Valley Forge @ for ransom.

ID: 1112365224009568258

linkhttps://www.instagram.com/not_valley_forge/ calendar_today31-03-2019 14:45:10

372 Tweet

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(Not) Valley Forge HS (@valleyforgepcsd) 's Twitter Profile Photo

You are not allowed, ever, to wait inside the building for your ride longer than five minutes. I do not care if you freeze to death in the cold, you MUST go outside after 2:35.

(Not) Valley Forge HS (@valleyforgepcsd) 's Twitter Profile Photo

So apparently the second dose of the Covid vaccine puts people out of commission for a day or two. I’ll bet any amount of money that the district will make people come into school even if they feel like shit after they get vaccinated.

(Not) Valley Forge HS (@valleyforgepcsd) 's Twitter Profile Photo

High school provides meaningful, important knowledge that students will use in the workplace, like - What the nucleus does - The quadratic equation - How to read Shakespearean English - How to play badminton - How the Mongols made the Silk Road - Etc. This knowledge is VITAL!!

(Not) Valley Forge HS (@valleyforgepcsd) 's Twitter Profile Photo

Super-following this account will let you choose what gets put on the digital sign outside of the school and gives you the ability to distribute genuine Patriot Bucks!

(Not) Valley Forge HS (@valleyforgepcsd) 's Twitter Profile Photo

Ya know, I’ve gotten very used to the four day work week. I made Monday a day where I got all my independant work done, so school wouldn’t intrude on my weekends. Which is exactly why four day work weeks are going away. You can pry your convenience from my cold dead fingers!

(Not) Valley Forge HS (@valleyforgepcsd) 's Twitter Profile Photo

I appreciate the thought, but the way to welcome students back to the last place they wanna be on a Monday is NOT with a drum band that you can hear down the block.

(Not) Valley Forge HS (@valleyforgepcsd) 's Twitter Profile Photo

Of course the district cares about your health! That’s why we sent all the students back, five days a week, without vaccinating them, without asking if they would be comfortable with that. Remember to wash your hands!

(Not) Valley Forge HS (@valleyforgepcsd) 's Twitter Profile Photo

The real downside to AP classes that nobody tells you about is having to navigate the College Board’s god awful labyrinth of a website.

(Not) Valley Forge HS (@valleyforgepcsd) 's Twitter Profile Photo

Someone in administration completely forgot we need to do drills and went “shit just toss them all on the last day we gotta meet our quota!”

(Not) Valley Forge HS (@valleyforgepcsd) 's Twitter Profile Photo

What? Why didn’t we give students the rest of the week off? Why did we start the final quarter on a two day week that only WE could’ve avoided? How dare you question our scheduling! These two days are INTEGRAL to learning!

(Not) Valley Forge HS (@valleyforgepcsd) 's Twitter Profile Photo

Anyone else curious why our mascot is a literal Lexington Minuteman? Like... why? What was so bad about the go to animal or mythological mascots? Why a Patriot in particular? Because it’s literally just a dude in old clothes and that’s our entire school identity.

(Not) Valley Forge HS (@valleyforgepcsd) 's Twitter Profile Photo

The Google Dinosaur Game is blocked on the chromebooks universally and if that doesn’t prove the PCSD hates all forms of fun with unrivaled spite then I don’t know what does.

(Not) Valley Forge HS (@valleyforgepcsd) 's Twitter Profile Photo

For all those who academically suffered during quarantine, we’ve got just the thing for you! Summer school! At Parma High! Doesn’t that sound fun?

For all those who academically suffered during quarantine, we’ve got just the thing for you! Summer school! At Parma High! Doesn’t that sound fun?