Lawyer: so tell me, why was my client's mouth bleeding? Dentist: he doesn't floss Me: You hit me! D: [puts lips on mic] bc you don't floss

EXECUTIVE: this ones not about murder is it STEPHEN KING: its about children E: ok SK: in corn E: thats nice SK:who murder E: dammit Stephen

Να έχετε το δικό σας στυλ ντυσίματος. Το δικό μου πχ είναι το: "Δε περίμενα ότι θα πρέπει να κατέβω και εγώ από το αμάξι"

If you don't have empathy with animals, you don't have empathy at all. Have a peaceful night.

😻💀

H Nάταλι Πόρτμαν - όμορφη ως έγκυος - στο νέο βίντεο κλιπ του Τζέιμς Μπλέικ flix.gr/news/natalie-p…

Mermaid Addict Contest! Vote to Win your favorite mermaid jewelry from the Giampoura's Sea Flower Collection! mermaid-addict.pgtb.me/TwSMwk/mwdQf

Me: will I find a wife Fortune teller: no Me: u didnt do the thing with the cards Fortune teller [flips one card, maintains eye contact]: no

I can go from researching a cramp on WebMD to coffin shopping in under 90 seconds.

when push comes to shove - the recurring tale of me not realizing the door opens outward