#PleaseStandBy

Betsy DeVos has a brilliant idea. While paltry school budgets deny kids a decent education, she may let states use federal funds to buy guns for educators—not books, computers or pay raises. Guns. Meanwhile the Trump administration opposes all commonsense gun safety legislation.

People who have their keyboard clicks on and phone volume at 100% irritate me. Especially when you’re in an otherwise quiet shared space or office. Obviously you have no regard for other people.

Why do people trying to get on elevators feel the need to stand directly in front of the door? The awkward tango of people trying to get off while you just side step is not fun.

When I was younger, I used to say "hang out with my friends". My parents would freak out thinking it was code for something bad.

Says to hold on for 2 minutes. It's been 6. Am I being petty?

.President Donald J. Trump I was once undocumented – now, I’m a member of Congress. #NoBanNoWall

Sean Spicer, I've said this to Donald J. Trump and now I'll tell you: Mexico is not going to pay for that fucking wall. #FuckingWall

I don't understand when people in professional settings are never punctual.

.Donald J. Trump, in 🇲🇽 we're celebrating 100 years of our constitution. Have you read the US constitution? Do you know your obligations?

can't wait to show this to my landlord when she asks where my rent money is for this month

I don't who keeps trying to reset my password but please stop. I registered this handle years ago.

Finally back on iOS. It’s been forever! Definitely missed it.

#DoYourJob x.com/realdonaldtrum…

There’s a guy watering his lawn. It’s been raining for 3 days. Seriously, guy?

When the person speaking at your meeting has a calm, soothing voice, nothing good can happen. Especially at 8am.