I'd just to wish a good morning to all the Federal agents executing search warrants right now. Hope the coffee is hot and delicious, the evidence plentiful! 😈⚖️

I was at Spirit Halloween today, and they had costume police badges. I thought about Herschel Walker. He must've hit Spirit just as they opened, because I got the last one.

Trauma is stored in the body and revealed in relationships. HERE’S WHAT THAT MEANS 🧵:

YO! IF YOU DO A COVID TEST AT HOME SWAB YOUR THROAT THEN YOUR NOSE! #thanksforcomingtomyTedTalk

How the fuck did Abbott defeat Beto O'Rourke ?!?! I'm from WA but... wtaf?! GROSS GROSS GROSS. SHAME ON TEXAS. enjoy your handmaid's tale. fucking awful. beto would have been amazing for some sense of normalcy. not your right-wing dipshits.

Just had a moment of "how the fuck was Donald Trump the president of the United States?". My brain is breaking right now.

I'll never be silent in the face of animal abuse. That's why I'm calling on ALDI USA to require its suppliers to end cruel gestation crates! Despite its #vegan products, it won't commit to ending this cruelty in its supply chain. RT if you're with me! cratefreeusa.org/aldi/

Twitternet, make this happen.

So... uh... where did Kanye go?

Kyle Griftenhouse. That is the tweet. #arewestilldoingthat

Is trump just on a constant need for a dopamine kick? Like, I can't understand how he lies and lies with irrefutable proof of shenanigans. Dude needs some Adderall. Oh... wait...🥴

Why the fuck is margarine traitor green in my god damn news feed all the time (also 'god' just autocorrected to 'fox') you can't make this shit up.

New john wick is fire but it just ruined my life. What else do I look forward to?

So whose guess as to who is "falling out of a window" first?

Soros soros soros witch-hunt witch-hunt witch-hunt woke woke woke woke woke trans agenda outrageous radical left commie Marxist socialism... did I miss anything?

If Biden did something wrong then fucking torch him! This is no different than trump! Hold both the same accountable BUT PROVIDE EVIDENCE!!!

Who is really after your kids?

Astronaut Scott Kelly once smuggled a full gorilla suit aboard the International Space Station. He didn't tell anyone about it. One day, without anyone knowing, he put it on.