I complained to my wife that the lunch she gave me was under cooked. I got burnt food for dinner!!!!

After so many years , I have found an adjective to describe my wife - Donald Trump

" The entry into the United States of any alien seeking entry pursuant to any of the following nonimmigrant visas is hereby suspended and limited, subject to section 3 of this proclamation" - will this result in more alien movies from Hollywood?😀😀😀😀

I handed my wife the fob to the gate and asked her to open the gate. She didn't like that I asked her to do it and she asked me which button to press on the fob. I told her she should know by now which button to press.

But she didn't like the reply and in her displeasure asked for an answer. I was standing there looking stunned a bit and repeatedly was demanded an answer. The fob had only one button on it which was for the gate.

Keep YMCA CC at Claremont Road. We need your support to save the future of our Sports Ground - Sign the Petition! chng.it/F8ZCvCPZ via Change.org

My wife till date has not found the perfect husband, the perfect gift and the perfect mobile phone

I found my wife giving family counselling a friend of hers. This, from a woman who doesn't take a single decision on her own.

My friend found masturbating with a sports watch tied round the wrist increases the steps count in the watch. Since that time he has been clicking 3000 steps every day

Wife to husband: I read in an article that men who drink too much black coffee tend to have more psychotic instincts. Husband: Do you know men who are married tend to have more killer instinct. End of conversation

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