If the Cleveland Cavaliers win the 2018 NBA finals I’ll buy everyone who retweet’s this a jersey...

Can we talk about how a shitload of people got played by verve like 4 years ago lol

Wear whatever clothes you like but the number of asses is literally hanging out the bottom of shorts is too dam high.

Can i just download food off the internet?

Fashion week: because lets dedicate an entire week EXCLUSIVELY to reducing women to their appearance

how much does uber charge to have the driver to run u over

Shout out to shuffle for the seamless transition from odd future to queen to system of a down to miles davis. More pleasant than it sounds.

Class being cancelled is my favorite thing in the world. Its like skipping but without the shame because youre not responsible for any work.

Pretty sure 2 of my professors have worn the same exact outfit for 3 weeks...

Saw people cut in front of some dude at trabant 1 at a time and hebsaid nothing. Ive never seen a more deflated, broken human being.

I came home to billowing yellow smoke inside my apartment. Long story short my roommate forgot to put water in his easy mac. Learn from him.

Accidentally nodded at a stranger that looked like my friend. Honest mistake, but the weird thing is he seemed to actually know me....

If Hillary Clinton didn't pay taxes, Trump supporters would call for a public lynching but if he does it he's "smart and an outsider."

Trump: Don't judge me on the man I was 10 years ago. But please judge Hillary on the man her husband was 20 years ago #TrumpTapes

I'm always screaming and throwing up in my mind.

Did u guys ever think that 2016 might be trying as hard as he can, but he's socially awkward and sometimes kills icons because he's nervous?

I know I hate on the Warriors, but this play was incredible x.com/YousefAbdeIhay…

President Alpha Male had questions shouted at him, panicked, & sided with Nazis. What happens in a real crisis? Will he join ISIS?

Dear "Christian" white supremacists: Your Savior is a dark-skinned Jewish man from the Middle East who spoke Aramaic. His mom was Jewish too