Get tickets to my 2024 standup shows!

For everyone out there who is in love with Saltburn, should watch Pink Flamingos.

This feels like journalism and Congress too. We are in free fall!

You can see it in her eyes “get this phony away from me” 😂😂😂

Being critical of our elected officials & holding them accountable, regardless of political affiliation, is a bedrock of democracy.

Ticket links for my April tour! 4/2 7:30PM Royal Oak, MI  etix.com/ticket/p/49541… 4/3 7:30PM Royal Oak, MI etix.com/ticket/p/59036… 4/4 7:00 PM Flint, MI etix.com/ticket/p/56843… 4/5 7:00PM Flint, MI etix.com/ticket/p/34671… 4/7 7:00 PM Hobart, IN etix.com/ticket/p/89322… 4/9

john waters, paul verhoeven and david cronenberg are all working on new movies right now. it’s like they saw all the anti-sex scene discourse and assembled the pervert film elder avengers

To the cast and crew of Coyote vs Acme…

What are the first five words of the National Anthem?

He drinks a Whiskey drink, he drinks a Vodka drink He drinks a Lager drink, he drinks a Cider drink

"I've lost an old friend, a business partner, a confidant, a co-conspirator, and an actor who could say the words I wrote better than anybody." ~John Waters

does that man look familiar to you

The longer I go not jerking off the more psychic I get!

Honestly, right now would be the perfect time to rob a bank in Los Angeles.

tickets for this years Patrice O’neal benefit are now on sale! nycitycenter.org/Patrice2025

This predator is, “getting to old for this shit.”

If the new Predator is not in Lethal Weapon 6, I will not believe in cinema anymore!

Does Antifa have a handle? Because I’ve got some good protest ideas for them… Ditch the frog costumes and just wear SS outfits and tell ICE “what good jobs they are doing” in German accents of course. Imagine all the photos of SS officers applauding them. Satire at its peak.

Sabrina Carpenter and I would make such a cute couple