Mama Maia (@unexpectedmumm) 's Twitter Profile
Mama Maia

@unexpectedmumm

I didn’t choose the mum life, the mum life chose me.

ID: 1308336729909334017

calendar_today22-09-2020 09:26:08

24 Tweet

50 Followers

97 Following

Mama Maia (@unexpectedmumm) 's Twitter Profile Photo

Don’t understand why my girl suddenly decides she’s Michael Flatley, Lord of the fucking Dance whenever it’s nappy change time 🤦🏼‍♀️

Mama Maia (@unexpectedmumm) 's Twitter Profile Photo

Parenting is finally getting your baby to sleep and then realising you have to sneeze... and pee... and you’re dying of thirst.

Scary Mommy (@scarymommy) 's Twitter Profile Photo

Why did you even have kids if you didn't expect a global pandemic, financial stress, and utter uncertainty for the future??? - Every Internet troll anytime I vent about parenting during COVID

Mama Maia (@unexpectedmumm) 's Twitter Profile Photo

They say it takes a village... Am I supposed to move to a village? Did I make a mistake living in London? Is this not how this is done? Does the village come to me? Help.

Mama Maia (@unexpectedmumm) 's Twitter Profile Photo

All jokes aside, there’s nothing quite like being a mum and waking up to those extra precious smiles first thing in the morning. The ones reserved just for you, the ones that say: Good morning mum, thank you for looking after me, I’m so excited to see you, I love you 💕

Mama Maia (@unexpectedmumm) 's Twitter Profile Photo

Being a mum is just saying “let go of mummy’s hair” and “oh there’s a big yawn” while drinking your eighth cup of luke warm tea...

Mama Maia (@unexpectedmumm) 's Twitter Profile Photo

Parenting is like doing a hands on degree - at the end of my 4th year I want a piece of paper that says I know everything.

Mama Maia (@unexpectedmumm) 's Twitter Profile Photo

My daughter learned to roll today and I clapped and cheered like she’d just won the olympics. It was in that moment that I realised what an annoying cunt I must be to all my single friends.

Mama Maia (@unexpectedmumm) 's Twitter Profile Photo

What is the point of daylight savings when you’re a mum? It’s just harder to convince my kid to go back to bed it’s still night time when it’s light out... like WHAT IS THE POINT

Mama Maia (@unexpectedmumm) 's Twitter Profile Photo

So excited to have snagged an invitation to a VERY exclusive NYE event at the Living Room. Guest list is super small, but I’m kind of a celebrity there.