I only attract psychopaths. If you’ve ever had a crush on me, find a good therapist.

I only attract psychopaths. If you’ve ever had a crush on me, find a good therapist.

I don’t know if I’m fucked up or if the world is fucked up. But if I get a choice, I’m blaming you motherfuckers.

And one morning, your name didn’t hurt. I didn’t think about you, I didn’t miss you. I was finally free.

I’m pretty much on here to post shit I find funny. If that offends you, just know I find that fucking funny too.

Always be ready to survive alone. Some people suddenly change. Today you mean everything to them, tomorrow nothing. But that’s real fucking life.

Hey everyone, it’s 4/19. Don’t forget to put milk and cookies out for Snoop Dogg tonight.

To all my friends here who post controversial, obscene, filthy, offensive, derogatory posts…..Keep that shit up. I fucking love it!

Nothing ruins hump day like not getting humped.

I took the road less traveled now I don’t know where the fuck I am.

Don’t argue with people on social media. Every classroom had a kid that ate glue. That’s probably who you are arguing with.

Nine out of ten voices in my head say, “I’m not really crazy.” One of those motherfuckers won’t stop singing.

I'm not pondering the Universe, I am the Universe pondering itself.

Turn around
#2024eclipse

See this Instagram video by @lanceaerial instagram.com/reel/C5cG8TGJG…

So when is this “Old enough to know better” shit supposed to kick in?

Don’t judge a person for drinking and swearing, judge the quiet sober ones. Those fuckers are up to something.

I don’t hide my scars. They’re proof that I showed up for life, fought like hell, and never fucking gave up.

Love didn’t hurt you. Someone that didn’t know how to love, hurt you. Don’t confuse the two.

Chances are, if it’s inappropriate and tasteless, I’ll find it completely fucking hilarious.