Too easy...

How dumb are- "Death Bed Confessions?" Now everyone thinks you're an Asshole for the last minute of your life!!

I recently discovered string cheese is not made of string. I'm tired of the lies.

When I'm happy.. My soul is without poetry..

The Flame Of Hope is flickering.. But has yet to Die.

We finally got below 80° in South Florida.. Talk about cold..I was forced to wear a jacket!!

Ever tell a lie so good the world actually felt sorry for you? ...asking for my Ex.

Death shall have no dominion.. Kiwi walks beside you.

When the Universe expands & world's, as all matter, tear apart...my Ex will be that one cockroach that nor God or Devil can stamp out.

I bought 100 life-sized inflatable dolls and a tank of helium. I'm going to let them go during the eclipse so people think it's the rapture. 😏

It'll be the 2nd coolest thing I've ever seen...the 2017 Eclipse being the first. Egypt's next in 2 years..gonna save up for that trip!

I'm not pondering the Universe, I am the Universe pondering itself.

Wait for it

But I have no faults- Having faults would be a fault-

I missed the King!

STYX

Your laugh for today...

You'd become my Spineless Ex!