my neck my back my pussy and my crack is an iambic pentameter

never thought i'd live to see a more pathetic use of the black [redacted] bar than in the mueller report and yet ... here we are

just sprinted, tripping over myself like a disney cartoon, to catch a lift & was about to thank the kind stranger who oh so politely held open the elevator doors for me til i realised it was none other than racist mouthbreather mark latham in classic dirty polo & oversized shorts

housemate has refused to make eye contact with me for the third day running & i’m starting to suspect that she may have taken to heart the absolutely disgusting, hate-filled slurs i scream every night at the moths that fly unbidden into my bedroom

losing my mind at pics of tony wearing this Piping Hot-esque floral as shorts & 3/4 length culottes—makes me think of him as a plucky marge in Scenes from the Class Struggle in Springfield, sewing & resewing the same pair of kmart pants to fit in w/ the blokes at mosman golf club

okay i'll bite: what's moby?

this is the photograph our national broadcaster has chosen to break the news about australia’s new opposition leader & i must admit this powerful image commands nothing but my utmost respect

don’t ever let anyone tell you suburbia is boring

the collapse of neoliberalism won't be won by socialist insurgency or united people's struggle. it'll be won when bitter, long-standing rivals, Private School vs Harbour Views, duke it out in a final showdown for the title of capital supremacy, destroying the world in the process

wait, so, you’re telling me that burial’s just gonna keep releasing new music, and i’m just gonna keep listening to it & loving it deeply with my whole heart like some kind of tender dumbass?? that’s just how it’s gotta be, huh???

IM STILL LOSING IT OVER THIS IMAGE

is extinction rebellion now advocating for ... extinction??

yeah lizzo’s crystal flute is cool but we must boycott the discourse until the humble & versatile clarinet gets equal or greater representation

having recently switched to using tongs as the default cooking tool, i am now completely consumed by jealousy & awe of how fucking convenient the life of a crab must be

i yearn for simpler times when petrol was a dollar a litre, climate change was reversible, and “cbd” referred to a central business district, not semi-legal weed tincture

couldn’t sleep, so i got up at 5am & made a ragu. now to simply step outside & dig my own grave

just saw a black hatchback zooming erratically down lygon st in brunswick with the licence plate ‘HVOLK’. can only assume this is a reference to the nazi idea of ‘herrenvolk’ or ‘master race’. Andy Fleming, Tom Tanuki et al - anyone else seen or heard about this before?