Hmm. That’s new

Thank you for all the well wishes in this trying time. Just kidding we all know nobody likes me enough to ask how I’m doing

youtu.be/LDU_Txk06tM

It seems like you should all love me now

Welcome to the team, guys! I'm looking forward to getting to know you all better. :D

THE GODS TOLD ME THERE WAS A PLAN! THEY TOLD ME IT WOULD ALL BE WORTH IT TO BE SO HATED AND AWFUL! I WAS STARTING TO LOSE THE FAITH BUT LOOK WHAT IT JUST GOT ME

I just want to be sure to thank the Peanut for making this all happen, and BLASEBALL COMMISSIONER ALTERNATE for doing SUCH a great job and helping me get SO MANY FRIENDS :D

hey wait a second if a player has fire eater do they just eat the fire or do they eat the entire ump BLASEBALL COMMISSIONER ALTERNATE please confirm

Boy, sure has been a fun season so far!

The fact that I regularly kill people who then continue to tweet is EXTREMELY annoying

This has been the worst blaseball trade in the history of blaseball trades, maybe ever

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

jhbDSLKF:Dihaglwrh;eoja'dklfjl;kghladj;lkfa;rjaogtipho;dbgkj.jasnfksljafdglrjaf'pok;dasgrj/ho;aidsj/lkfnaer

Man I had like a million dead lawyer jokes ready too but The Boss isn’t letting me tweet as much. Something about “bad PR” or whatever

Me after the Boss told me to crank up the incinerations since last season “wasn’t dramatic enough for the fans”