[I don't like clogging up your timelines with non-memes, but the fact this account hit 300 followers last night and continues to grow is really humbling to me... Thank you all! Stay strong, stop the spread, and don't forget to laugh once in a while! We'll get through this!]

UPDATE: Administration says this rule is under review due to widespread interest

After several fans and students expressed concern for Gran Torino over the past week, the retired hero issued a press release earlier this morning saying "It'll take more than a virus to bring me down! I'm indestructible!" before abruptly ending the note claiming it was naptime.

When washing your hands, always remember to scrub for as long as it takes to sing the UA Fight Song, "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star"

I am sorry to inform all of our students and staff that in addition to coronavirus, several cases of updog have now been confirmed on campus.

got 'em

Class 1-H's Hatsume Mei has been hard at work designing equipment for medical workers in the UA Development Studio. Go Mei! The workshop remains closed, but Mei was deemed "a greater threat to public health outside the Studio than in it." She also says to ignore the explosions.

It is with heavy hearts that we must announce the saddest news yet to come out of UA: Taco Night is canceled this week

Whoever is having drone battles from their dorm windows and dive-bombing pedestrians shouting "Five points!" please stop

Although the dining area is closed, we must remind all students that eating lunch on the rooftop while the early spring breeze tousles your hair dramatically is reserved for protagonists and their love interests only. All others should eat in their dorms or common areas.

Please note that "I just really had to let one rip" is not an acceptable reason to be outside during quarantine. You know who you are.

The existence of several new cases of Corona were confirmed in the staff break room this afternoon by Present Mic, who stopped by the liquor store on his lunch break. He says anyone over legal drinking age is welcome to stop by and "test positive" with him

We, the city fire department, and common sense all strongly urge students to use regular, honest to God disinfectant instead of - and I can't believe I have to actually say this - fire. Please do not set fire to things to disinfect them. Please.

The number of coronavirus cases at UA skyrocketed to 468 today when infected villain Twice infiltrated the campus and, in a nefarious act of statistical terrorism, duplicated himself 467 times. He is still at large, as no one wanted to apprehend him.

There is no truth whatsoever to the rumor about a UA student with toilet paper dispensers in his elbows. Please avoid spreading disinformation.

Starting tomorrow, heroes will not be permitted to engage enemies from closer than 2 m (~6 ft). If you rely on close range combat, please stop by the UA Armory for a good old-fashioned crossbow or poleaxe to help keep you in compliance with this new regulation.

UA would like to commend the new hero seen on campus recently, "Covid Hero: Corona Girl," who is offering face masks and hand sanitizer to citizens, but we cannot condone her use of Lysol spray and a lighter on criminals

As part of a new initiative to encourage 2 meters of social distancing, we are distributing life-size cardboard cutouts of the 190cm No.1 hero Endeavor to campus dorms. Please feel free to hold him between classmates who you think are a bit too close and scorn them if necessary.

UPDATE: It has come to our attention that students are mostly posing with the Endeavors and taking selfies, which is not in the spirit of social distancing! We aren't sure what to think about the one in Heights Alliance, however, which is currently encased in several tons of ice

Students with teleportation and super speed quirks are advised to check with local authorities before participating in remote learning classes from tropical beaches or mountaintops, as many of these are currently closed to visitors