why don't we sell hurricane names? it's free money for NOAA i want to see headlines like "Hurricane CapitalOne decimates Gulf Coast"

Got a “yard looks good” from the wife today

Whether it's Steph Curry talking about his shot, or Tiger Woods talking about his stroke, I get chills hearing experts talking about their craft

How my wife looks at me when I’m about to sit down and relax

THE CUP IS OURS❗️

me supervising anyone else in my house attempting to load the dishwasher

That look I give my wife when she asks me if I want to go to Costco at 2pm on a Saturday.

Tennessee state politicians side with foreign pesticide companies over people dying of cancer.

I must tell you - we gain 77 minutes of daylight in the next 28 days.

IT’S WILD THAT THE MOST EFFECTIVE WAY TO SAVE SOMETHING AS A PDF IS TO LIE TO YOUR COMPUTER THAT YOU’RE ABOUT TO PRINT IT 😭😭😭

Makes a good point 🤝

Climbing the corporate ladder so l can send emails with no greetings, just "Approved, Thx" Get Outlook for iOS

okay but how FCKING elite was rearranging your room as a kid and suddenly it felt like a whole new place. you’d show your parents and they’d be like “wow very nice” and you’re standing there like FCK yes new room new me

Expert for everything😂

if i let you over in traffic i expect my lil wave

When I look at my kids, I have 2 thoughts: 1) I have never loved anything as much as I love them. 2) I have never looked forward to 8:30PM so much in my entire life.

Ideal Tiger doc: 1 hour on his childhood 1 hour on his 3 US Amateur wins 1 hour on the 1997 Masters + 1999 PGA & Ryder Cup 1 hour on the 2000 US Open - 2001 Masters (Tiger Slam) 1 hour on 2002-2005 (4 majors, winning Bay Hill by 11, beating John Daly in a playoff) 1/2

“Hey what are your plans for this weekend?” Me:

Why doesn’t 50 Cent just go on tour with Nickelback and call the tour “45 Cents” my god do I have to think of everything?