I’m happy to know so many pretty people

It’s not just “that’ll come in handy.” Make it exciting “that’s gonna come in some serious fucking handy”

So ready for a nervous breakdown

God’s got a killer sound system

Word up

Just look at those squirrels fly

“Legendary fight with Shia LaBeouf”

If I don’t have six pillows to sleep with, what is life?

open.spotify.com/episode/0OXjXz…

Trident white gives me life trident gum

Jimmy Johnson looks like a podling

I kept asking ChatGPT to make this puppy happier and... was not prepared for where it ended up

Don’t ever let anyone tell you that bass is less fun than guitar

“This looks like someone’s thrown up on a plate and called it Italian”

The best part of cooking is walking back inside to the sweet scent of sustenance

Today the universe said “you’re gonna be Charlie Brown”

Get ahold of yourself

I got some poems, songs, sweet words for you

The maniac is in the mailbox