Giraffes did not heed Wu Tanng’s advice.

Gonna start wearing bifocals so I can double down on my hog focus.

I like to divide my friends up to different subsets. For instance, people who like to use a Spork way too much versus not. Sporks we out!

How did humans make the giant jump in evolution where we stopped liking to bite into fur.

In my world trillville is a 10 squeak track.

I have been described as an acrobatic lover.

I just figured out I’m really into mid-coitus jokes. GOT YOUR NOSE!

I guess my best friend is jizzing inside of his beautiful wife not thinking of me.

Can’t believe Madonna played the bad guy in saw.

I have to buy my Cock rings at a jeweler.

Why aren’t there more hump days?

I would like to feed the person who designed airplane seats a raw potato.

The ocean holds my secrets.

I’ve been playing Bop It with my hog.

I got CTE from eating pussy

Which fucker put pickle spears in my socks.

I’m gonna float spa face down.

This year fucking sucks

I thought buffering was an erotic term.

We need hot court rooms again.