my throat feels like it just blew the entire Phoenix Suns team in a Las Vegas hotel room

psycho from a midwest suburb

i’m off to rescue prince harry

i vomit when i think about premarital sex

kinda wanna get hit by a car… kinda wanna see if it would make me feel something

pop rocks are a poor man’s caviar

THE USMNT ARE GOING TO THE WORLD CUP 🛫

#MakeTheGirlPay2022

Your #FIFAWorldCup 2026 Host Cities: 🇺🇸Atlanta 🇺🇸Boston 🇺🇸Dallas 🇲🇽Guadalajara 🇺🇸Houston 🇺🇸Kansas City 🇺🇸Los Angeles 🇲🇽Mexico City 🇺🇸Miami 🇲🇽Monterrey 🇺🇸New York / New Jersey 🇺🇸Philadelphia 🇺🇸San Francisco Bay Area 🇺🇸Seattle 🇨🇦Toronto 🇨🇦Vancouver

have just come to the understanding that my parents are actually real individual people with real experiences that predate me… life is crazy

bro… and i mean…. WHAT??

the bell cannot be unrung

“I love Kirk Cousins” -PFT Commenter

it wouldn’t be a situationship if you were prettier and more interesting

3 years sober

guys we as a species need to focus all our efforts on making a cigarette that’s good for you. we should be working on this around the clock