I've got new glasses (as in spectacles, not ones you drink wine out of.) Anyone want pics? No, of course you don't

Plenty of both, thanks.

First selfie in a loooooong time. I've got new specs. Suddenly I can see things properly again.

You can put me to bed with a shovel before I pay for a blue tick.

Apparently I'm being gossiped about in certain sickly corners of the internet. How amusing.

You'd like that, wouldn't you? Hah!!

X? What is X?

A peek? Hmm. I think, technically, it'd be what is known as an 'ogle'.

I'm quietly confident.

#TwistsCrispReviews Smith's Red Rooster Fried Chicken Burger. These are properly delicious and very more-ish. Lots of flavour to them. Recommended.

Sweet tooth? Me? #WhiteChocolate

#TwistsCrispReviews Pringles Smokin' Cajun Spice Flavour. Pringles have been very hit-and-miss lately (mainly miss), but these are damn good! Nicely flavoursome, and quite a bit of heat to them.

A tasty slice of truth, right there.

Everywhere online is bombarding me with adverts for AI girlfriends. What are they trying to tell me?

Merry thingy thing, people. Let nothing you dismay.

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