"Beauty is in the eye of the boobholder." - Mike Tully #tullytime

"Is it gay if I say I would prefer the anal-swab covid test?" - Mike Tully #tullytime

"Every butt is built for pleasure." - Mike Tully #thejasonellisshow #patreon

"Aldean all day. That's how I'm livin." - Mike Tully

"I like really hairy gay Asian teens." - Mike Tully

"I was never rich enough to do party tricks with my coke." - Mike Tully

"God looks out for drunks." - Mike Tully

"I'd rather eat a man's cum, than cow's cum." - Mike Tully

"My son was like an Al Bundy-level misogynist pig when he was 18 months old." - Mike Tully

"I love an elaborate wank." - Mike Tully

"Has the world changed, or have I changed? I dont know." - Mike Tully #spandauballet

"Prostitution and mushrooms do not mix in my experience." - Mike Tully

"It's so hard to imagine a world in which there is no jizz." - Mike Tully

"I would like a little fart in the face from a cute chick." - Mike Tully

"Getting drunk is really fun when you're little." - Mike Tully

"We shouldn't even let him choose to be president. We should force him to be." - Mike Tully #therock

“Every man needs to know that in between his dick & balls and his asshole is the ghost of his vagina.” - E94 - Seasquatch

“I was a teenage Preparation H purchaser.”

“Precum is exciting. It means the best is yet to come.” Jason Ellis Show Patreon 1/20/25 #precum

“I think I could totally fuck a wretched old lady for money and the lols.” - Patreon 5/19/25