Currently craving: pepperoni bagel melt from wawa.

"Excuse me! Do you work for the road dept?" ...Yes. I work for the road dept. This is made clear by the water drop logo on my truck. Because everyone knows that's the international symbol of roads.

🤨

I miss grand theft auto IV

Facing 168 hours of sobriety. Followed by 168 hours of utter intoxication. Am I gonna fucking make it?

Feeling delirious. Insomnia is serious. Clinking glasses with the shadow people, cheers to us!

Did y'all forget? #MyXAnniversary

Highly chaotic apathy.

Throwing shit at the wall until it sticks, when all you had to do was let it hit the fan.

Jalen Hurts in the 2nd half. #Eagles

RT for a chance to win one 'A Philly Special Christmas Special' album SIGNED by Lane Johnson, Jason Kelce, and Jordan Mailata 🎄 Every RT is a vote! #WPMOYChallenge #ProBowlVote Rules: bit.ly/3GKNUWo

Is birthday privilege valid? Because the weight of the urge to tell people "fuck off, it's my birthday" is soooo heavy.

UU-D 4T

Hello. Instagram I need help. Please.

It's all fun and games until somebody else pees your pants.

Walmart makes me wish I was on cocaine