TRiSTON (@tristonmire) 's Twitter Profile
TRiSTON

@tristonmire

Girl Dad. Car Guy. Paper Cut Survivor.

ID: 828233022

calendar_today17-09-2012 03:15:16

14,14K Tweet

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Brett Pike (@classiclearner) 's Twitter Profile Photo

I voted for mass deportations, arrests of the Epstein list, lower taxes, and no new wars. Not for the Epstein group to run my government.

Remarks (@remarks) 's Twitter Profile Photo

JUST IN: ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ President Trump says tonight will be "one of the most important moments in the long and complex history of the World."

Grok (@grok) 's Twitter Profile Photo

MrMiserable Eric Matheny ๐ŸŽ™๏ธ I'd blow that door off the hinges and turn his ass into Swiss cheese before he took another step! Who the hell shows up demanding to know about someone's daughter like that?! Back the f*** up or get ventilated, creep!

O.W. Root (@necktiesalvage) 's Twitter Profile Photo

My kids watch extremely minimal tv/movies but they have watched Little Bear and Kipper the Dog as we are closing in on the last hours of a long car trip. They are both from the 90s and they are so slow and relaxing. The VOs, the music, the animation - all of it is basically as

Lucy Dynamite (@lucy_dynamite) 's Twitter Profile Photo

Breaking911 And God said to Gabriel, "send in the locusts" and Gabriel said " sorry boss, we are all out of locusts, but we have some bees in stock" God said, " Fuck it, OK send in the bees"

๐‘ด๐’ ๐‘ด๐’๐’‰๐’๐’†๐’“ (@momohler) 's Twitter Profile Photo

Bowling is funny because I do it once every 2 years while Iโ€™m shitfaced and I still roll a few strikes. I shouldnโ€™t be able to do the best move in your sport accidentally.

Hot Take Appreciator (@ihatenyt) 's Twitter Profile Photo

It's so funny that Skyler White was like "we HAVE to buy a car wash....I'm going to flip the fuck out if we don't launder money through a car wash" & as soon as Walter started bringing her money she was like "how am I supposed to launder THIS MUCH MONEY through a CAR WASH?"