Are millennials in their 30s mostly moving to be closer to their parents? Cuz I sure want to.

I don’t look like my profile picture anymore

Why did she say coconut tree instead of palm tree?

I wear rodeo belt buckles now

I think I’ll buy a 2025 Dodge Ram

In case you’re wondering, the floor shakes in South Pasadena city hall when employees walk around the office, which you can imagine was very upsetting when I was there today after the big one.

I don’t know about you but I don’t want to go to Las Vegas or Anaheim for a rodeo. Rodeos are small town only. 👋🏼

How come blue cheese tastes good but everything else that’s moldy tastes like dirt?

Lil Jon I can’t

One of my eyelids is swollen today and I feel like that side of my face looks better than the regular one…

Debate stage lighting is fucked

DT doesn’t know what quantum computing is

Not the earthquake emergency kit costing $170 on Amazon

Something weird is happening to me where everyone I see on the street is saying hi to me or telling me took beautiful or that my dog is cute.

How bad is it if your battery in your truck sometimes falls on top of the engine?

Grammy would have loved smash burgers

Do you think I’m pretty?

You should be able to spend the night in a house before buying it.

My favorite thing about a holiday is going for a walk

Nobody even really likes turkey