Vaccines do not cause autism. Dr Andrew Wakefield was struck off for medical fraud. Measles kills, maims and causes permanent brain damage. Please, please chat to a nurse or doctor before deciding not to vaccinate your kids. theguardian.com/society/2018/s…

When the meerkat ads first arrived, the point was that Alexandr ran CompareTheMeerkat & was frustrated that people confused it with the unrelated CompareTheMarket. But nowadays he just straight up runs CompareTheMarket. Did I miss the ad that explained his hostile takeover?

Please continue to retweet to humiliate Lindsey Graham

Can't get enough of this man flesh

Hmm only just noticed i have been the twitter equivalent of fraped. Whoever you are. Well played

Right time to really learn how to use this bloody thing.

100 years ago RIGHT NOW, the British guns opened up on the Somme. #Somme100

I'M TELLING YOU HE'S A #WERETRUMP.

"I must be going! My work here is done and my planet needs me."

Well, England, you've had quite the week

i always forget I have Twitter....

Woo!!!! London trip for work Wednesday! 2 hours working 10 hours drinking at the expense of the company #working

Gollum sighed sadly as the woman of his dreams walked slowly away. It was his own fault . . If he liked it then he shoulda put a ring on it.

Only Connect, the fiendish puzzle quiz presented by Victoria Coren Mitchell, began 9 years ago today on BBC Four. genome.ch.bbc.co.uk/1d39b739c0f74e…

Another trip to London. Doesn't feel quite right being on my own though ><

(L) Me at the beginning of 2017 (R) Me at the end of 2017 #HappyNewYear2018

Complementary beer at the taskmaster recording but no complementary water. #largerloutnation Taskmaster

Seeing the look of what I can only describe as uncomfortable terror on Alex Horne face when being given "daddy's love" was both harrowing and hilarious in equal measure.

Well time to jump on the bandwagon I guess.