Dolly Parton said she gets up at 3am everyday…so I do too. We making boss moves from here on out.

I was told thick thighs save lives. I always wanted to date a surgeon, but they never wanted to date me. So I have to go for the next best option and keep a woman with thick thighs.

She’s a 10 but has birds for pets…5.5. américa.

I’m engaged. Wild.

I seriously would read the Harry Potter series during the day, and watch the Trapped In The Closet videos with my family on BET at night. What were they thinking?

Watching Alicia Keys Tiny desk for the like 5th time, and “Underdog” picks my day up whenever I feel down.

I just fell trying to sit on our ottoman. I’m feeling okay right now, but I’m mentally preparing for tomorrow morning.

I was excited to play with my little iPhone 14. Not shit to play with though. It’s the same phone. I think demographics are social media influencers and people who love selfies.

I just ate 7 tacos at the carne asada. I’m honestly not about it.

Wait…not SZA off bench like Brady

Y’all I call my grandma everyday because she my best friend, and we just talk about new Madea movies and favorite new outfit from Harwin. Im starting to realize though…it gets quiet and then someone is always silently on three way. She Mean Girling me. Who got Maury number?

Omg. I just accidentally entered a prayer circle. Okay God. I’m here.

The vet said “wow, she grew 11 pounds in a month.” I smiled and thought, “yeah, she be eating good. I’m a responsible father.”

I went to Hearsay and Deans with my wife last night. I WILL NOT check my bank account today. The devil is a lie. Lowercase for devil because you don’t deserve my respect.

“All the Light We Cannot See” is going to be series. That’s my favorite novel. It turned my students into readers when they had never picked a book up. This is so dope. Now I must go read it for the 100th time before the series.

When I go to New Orleans I always hope I can find Tank and The Bangas just doing a private show at a random hole in the wall. Serious dream.

My dog is named Reese Witherspoon. if my wife agrees on another one her name will be Drew Barrymore. If she allows a third it will be Taniah Rucker. I swear they will be the coolest dogs on the street.

I went to use the restroom for all of two minutes. I come out…my glasses are broken. My entire day depends on a computer screen…no glasses now, and I haven’t ordered contacts in years. I wonder who broke them?