AI is fucking terrifying.

Is it just me, or should Bud Light board the THC train? I’m no marketing genius but when the 2 words that make up your very famous brand are BUD and LIGHT, it sells itself amirite? 🌿💨

Stopped at a red light, as it turns green and I start to pull away, a car near me makes a strange noise in the same key as the Alexa timer sound and for a hot sec I was like oh, my pizza’s done 🫣🫠

Watching The Lonely Island videos with your bf on a Saturday afternoon is fun & all, but that was 5 days ago & every morning since, the first thing in my head is “it’s my dick in a BOX” or “I JUST HAD SEX” or “poseeiiiddoooon look at meEeE” like at this point idk if it’ll ever end

I used to make fun of my dad for talking to himself but now that I’m an old person and quite frequently talk to myself, I get it… like myself and I need to agree on Taco Bell for dinner.

Ok script idea: zombie apocalypse, but the zombies only go after the pure blood of anti-vaxxers

Putting air in your tires in your late 30s should be considered a workout.

At this point, just grind me up and shove me in a sausage casing cuz I am the wurst.

Was there ever a time where yellow lights didn’t exist? Like it just went from green to red and chaos ensued? #thingsigoogleinsteadofworking

True euphoria is that feeling when you miss a Teams meeting, panic about it, then see the majestic “meeting cancelled” email ✨

Anyone who drives a vehicle that’s the same make/model/color of law enforcement vehicles should definitely sell that vehicle.

Edit with “premium”?? “Boost” my post. Fuck you, Elon, you don’t need anymore money and my OCD isn’t THAT bad, bitch

If I go viral, I’ll say I love Trump. It won’t happen, so I never have to say it.

I wish there was a way for me to tell Spotify to never again suggest a certain artist to me like “Hey Spotty, you can just go right ahead and delete Morgan Wallen from our algorithm, k thanks!”