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I need someone to come over and forcefully sedate me.

my girlfriend goes “I’m so excited”. I can’t relate. I’m ready to puke, pass out, black out, wake up, puke again and then maybe have a heart attack.

SUPER BOWL CHAMPIONS! THIS ONE’S FOR YOU PHILLY!

It’s Good to be Green.

Sometimes, the grass is greener 🏆

Frame it. #SBLIX

Not a bad way to celebrate your 22nd birthday 🎂 Cooper DeJean | #SBLIX

Being able to walk to a coffee shop that looks like this will heal you I am so serious. Move to Philadelphia

Saquon saying he wants to be remembered as an Eagle😭😭😭

me at work every day

The thoughts are back………

when the tame impala lyrics u passively listened to for a decade start applying to ur life

I'm not "freaking out". Can't you see how unnaturally still and silent I am? Could someone who was "freaking out" be this rigid? This uncomfortably quiet? Yeah, didn't think so.

not only the pilot of my flight sounds straight as fuck, the flight attendant just asked the exit row people to read the brochures because “they’re actually important”. we’re all going to die.

I can’t believe I used to think I was stressed in high school

I need to sit by the ocean and disassociate for like three days

The Chicago Pope implies the existence of a New Keynesian Pope and a Behavioral Pope