Home just in time to watch Tom Hardy reading 'Zog' on CBeebies. What an end to a day.

full, with swing, and 95mph. that's unplayable. wow. #TheAshes2023

Runs since I messaged this to someone an hour ago: 110 Wickets taken since I messaged this to someone an hour ago: 0 Sorry I fucked the Ashes, everyone. #TheAshes2023

chatbots really are fucking revolutionary

Can't recommend the Jeremy Vine & Daytime on 5 show enough right now and the INCREDIBLE chat about angry cows. Listen on iPlayer if you've missed it. You'll thank me.

The Beatles name made sense when it was just four men making beat music – but now they can play almost anything, including folk, rock, psyche and AOR. Plus there's been films, books and comedy wigs. The Beatles name does not make sense in that context and we must say tara-a-bit.

Enjoy it while it lasts mate.

What, his fucking spiral staircase?

21 runs in a session is bloody dire cricket. I get the tactic, sure, but it's very very dull and punters don't pony up to see someone block essentially 12 overs for seven runs. #TheAshes2023

I wish I knew the background behind this graffiti.

The Saudi Show gets increasingly depressing. That tiger....

Someone's put "create the most Jason Statham film poster ever" into Canva

...just looked at prices for a train from Bristol > London. FML.

VAR: ‘Simon, having watched a replay of the Onana incident, you can clearly see the Man Utd badge on his shirt, so don’t bother coming over to the screen to check. Cheers.’

And what if my grandmother had wheels

Hive mind . What is this - was in our mince....

Nope.

Left here, it's rubbish. Only using for DMs.