Listen...you gotta shoot that monkey broham. No other choice. Get after it!

Packing and eating lunch at work is so gay, like look, here's one container I have to heat up, and one that I don't, like grow the fuck up and just go outside and have two cigarettes

Therapy isn’t gonna cut it I need vengeance

Curly has made himself right at home under my desk and that's awesome

So Curly is starting to be more trusting and finally eating pretty well. Everybody at the harbor just loves him and Curly is the best thing I ever carried out of the Dollar General.

You could put any frightened animal in a china shop and have the same results.

My kid just downloaded google slides, so I know there's some kind of presentation headed my way

Man...I sure am missing my sister an extra lot today. I hope her putt putt game is still strong. I was out and about here in Dallas today. Sober shit. Fun shit. Our shit.

People who describe themselves as “fluent in sarcasm” are humanity’s greatest weakness.

Big news here at the harbor ya'll!! My favorite crack smoking paranoid schizophrenic is back!!

I stepped out for 5 minutes to get a coffee and this little interloper jacked my chair. I think I'm gonna have to fist fight Curly.

Spotted this anomaly in line to get Curly his checkup and shots. I almost bartered my buddies car for a 5pack of cuteness overload

If a radio is playing too loudly when our hero walks into the house, the guy in the kitchen is already dead on the floor.