I love friendship errands, where you do a little task with a friend by your side for company, like pick up your prescription or stop at the post office or transport a ring of power to Mordor

oh great. i’m literally one of god’s weakest, most cowardly soldiers and he is sending me tough battles anyway

“you have an old soul” hey my soul has been on this earth for a normal, human-length amount of time! if the local villagers have said anything different then maybe they’re just mad that young virgins keep going missing

Jorts (and Jean) The arc of the universe is long, but it swings toward pizza.

If you're up now you're a certified demon and I just want to let you know that I love you and that you are worth it

It’s the harvest moon tonight don’t forget to frolic in the midnight woods with your crow familiars

My hobbies are drinking tea and coping with the crushing weight of existence

no church for me, i’ve got my own personal jesus

It’s now October so we are well into heavy cloak and looming mist season. Plan your ominous forest walks accordingly.

It’s October, so

Now that it is October you can rise from the dead each morning & be the monster you’ve always wanted.

divine intervention is real. ❤️ God is making my life harder

Good morning, fair traveller. I have a quest for thee...

Lord, you who come like a thief in the night, deliver us from porch pirates, we pray.

I don’t want riches or adoration, I want to disappear into the woods and become a legend whispered fearfully by the townspeople when they feel the quiet buzz of eldritch magic just past the tree line

Home improvement ads do not speak to me. They’re always “upgrade your kitchen counters” or “change the bathroom tile” or “put in new molding,” never “trade your heart to a fire demon so your house can roam the hills and terrify the neighbors”

the void looks back