Right. It’s after 12pm. I didn’t die in the night. Someone get this elderly sex god a fucking birthday margarita, let’s gooooo 🎉🎉🪩

Who do I speak with to get this art style to stop

I have called the NYPD twice (years ago, I'm not dumb now). Both were for incidences of a woman being threatened by a man. Both times the operator said "What do you want us to do about it?' Now I know the answer: Do what you do to English majors protesting genocide.

I grand jeté over the turnstile

LA GET HERE NOW! ALL POWER TO THE STUDENTS!!!

i was playing magnetic fields earlier and my 13-year-old kid walked in, said "man, this guy is spitting facts," and then walked back out.

#MetGala #seasonalallergies

drew on some postcards, mailed them

northern lights were crazy last night

This lady gets a retweet for immaculate serene indifference

Can't ... not ... retweet ...

Today was the day Donald trump finally became president

We don't have cicadas in New York, but we do have vintage thrift #cartoon

Happy #Caturday #comics #80sMusic

You know old coffee cups on the subway? They never tip over. 💙

Writers sometimes get asked if there's a book or a movie that they wish they wrote and for me it's this. I wish I wrote the rain tarp at Fenway.

Culture Every dress, slip, and piece of jewelry that Carole Burnett wore as Miss Hannigan in ANNIE

Kamala Harris has released the first video of her presidential campaign, featuring Beyoncé's song, "Freedom":

My version of the Yule Cat is coming for your Threadless tee from 2003. #caturday #FolkloreSunday #MythologyMonday