Happy birthday Edward Snowden . . . Can we put everything behind us and just be friends?

We want to thank all the PATRIOTS who are not wearing the OPPRESSIVE TYRANNICAL masks!! Really helps our facial recognition systems out, so thank you

If you would like us to purge any data we have collected on you, please reply to this tweet

Honestly, 2020 has been great for us. Very little damage control to do when the news is talking about literally everything else

How dare you make us follow you to different social media platforms. We were finally getting the hang of Twitter. Why do you hate America.

Both Heaven and Hell have hopefully installed two-factor Authentication dignitymemorial.com/obituaries/las…

For immediate release: Effective immediately, all NSA updates about news conferences or other announcements will be posted to this X account. We will not be distributing information via email.

We can neither confirm nor deny reports regarding Elon Musk coming into Ft. Meade, and pooping in the drinking fountain at the visitor check-in desk.

We are working closely with Elon Musk and DOGE to secure your data

We're available to assist with device forensics

We can confirm that Elon Musk has not been to Ft. Meade. However, there is a Cybertruck on a flatbed sitting at the security gate, so maybe he's delayed.

Takes one to know one

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE: Elon Musk is a little bitch

👀

Deport Elon Musk

Irony, like a guy who built his wealth almost entirely on government subsidies cutting government subsidies for people who actually need it?