graham bretman (@gbretman) 's Twitter Profile
graham bretman

@gbretman

It's good to have friends, even if some are imaginary

One Liners and Uxbridge English Dictionary @gbretman.bsky.social

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calendar_today25-04-2012 13:59:14

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Gary Delaney is writing the next tour (@garydelaney) 's Twitter Profile Photo

Rejected joke - penis enlargement clinic. This is me testing jokes for the new tour. This one didn’t make the cut but I’m quite fond of it anyway so I’m posting it here. Please like share, follow, ridicule as appropriate. New tour Gary on Laughing is on sale now. More dates

Alf (@whoelsebutalf) 's Twitter Profile Photo

Ordered a sandwich earlier and when it arrived the bread was made of sofas and the cheese was a melting clock. That's the last time I use Salvador's Delí.

Graham Parry (@laughingtwits) 's Twitter Profile Photo

My walk from London to Brighton went without a hitch. You’d have thought someone would have given me a lift. #LunchPun #RateMyPun

Gary Delaney is writing the next tour (@garydelaney) 's Twitter Profile Photo

I bought some socks for my holiday today. I wanted to see if they were the right size but I couldn’t tell as I didn’t have my swimming trunks with me.

Gary Delaney is writing the next tour (@garydelaney) 's Twitter Profile Photo

Another joke that didn’t make the cut. This was me testing some new material in Wakefield last night (hence reading from the clipboard) a lady was horrified by this joke which turned out to be funnier than the actual joke so here it is. New tour of the jokes that made the cut on

Richard Pulsford (@richardpulsford) 's Twitter Profile Photo

- In this murder mystery, the groom suffocates his new wife using a slice of bread - Smothers bride? - No, Warburtons #LunchPun