blacked out from rage at several points in this story I’m not going to lie

People who wear sandals on flights are diabolical as a whole but the people who wear flip flops in particular are from the 7th circle of hell

…who taught this man how to run away from alligators

oh good well as long as you got the name changed that was my only issue

directed some tourists to wait on the middle of the platform for the G train so I’ve earned my place in heaven

what a time to be alive (derogatory)

you thought you were gonna rail a baddie in a tennis skirt? he thought he was gonna rail a baddie in a tennis skirt. that’s fucking funny because it’s a SKORT

oh so no one wanted to tell me “Sign of the Times” was used in the PROJECT HAIL MARY trailer I see

people need to start keeping facts to themselves

Love this for us! Now, out of curiosity…how did we “lose” it, exactly?

We Hacked Zohran Mamdani’s Netflix Account and Discovered He’s a Great British Bake Off Fan Here’s How That Makes Him a Psychopath By The New York Times

very into whatever has been going on with the All American Rejects in the last year

A story 20-plus years in the making: I went deep (REALLY deep) on Dramione fanfic for Harper’s BAZAAR: harpersbazaar.com/culture/art-bo…

just returned from my first lap swimming session of the season at my local NYC public pool, and while I didn’t see any chicken bones (I was averaging one a week last summer) I DID see a whole, cooked shrimp!

lmao I don't live there and even I know that it'll only take like, ONE Eagles win for this entire fleet to get destroyed

99% of the time I don’t get annoyed about things being copied on the internet because the odds of having an original idea are…slim to none. But when it’s a word for word copy of something that already went pretty viral…yea I don’t really understand that one!

me spending $50 on cherries and peaches at the farmers’ market last weekend

"This Whole Thing Smacks Of Gender," i holler as i overturn my uncle's barbeque grill and turn the 4th of July into the 4th of Shit