I wish I hated something the way Stephen smith hates the cowboys.

I'm in the mood for Pringle's #BasketballSchool

A 5+ minute diss track is craaaazzzy but I fear Kendrick ate him up

My man can clean are gutters standing on the ground and suddenly I'm submissive and breedable

You can tell a lot about a person based on if they are watching the debate or love island US tonight. For patriotic reasons I will be watching love island US

You know how we put old dogs down so they aren't in pain anymore? You see where I'm going with this?

Happy Fourth of July Eve make sure you leave cookies out for me tonight

Thanks for your email! Unfortunately, I have filled my pockets with stones and am making my way to the sea.

Shed literal tears driving home from northern Minnesota while listening to the Vikings absolutely dawg the Texans. I love this state so much and it without a doubt the best in the country

It's my wedding month and both of my football teams stand undefeated. My life has not been this good since pre 2008. I have achieved full happiness and I will lose it all if a bunch of 17-30 year old men blow it for me this month.

Honestly not the team I thought would blow it first but here we are.

How much did Stephen A Smith pay Dan Campbell

Living the life I prayed for 🥹

Must be a white guy in golf polo convention in Phoenix this weekend because my flight is exclusively that demographic

My biggest accomplishment is who I married. Some of y'all are married to fucking losers- couldn't be me.

No revenge because your life is my worst nightmare

This is what I imagine God looks like

Ever since I booked my flight to Ireland I've been waking up dreaming about a European cig. Literally can't wait

In protest of everyone getting sickly thin I'm getting a little thic this holiday season

Trade shows are adult summer camps like wdym I won't see my friends until next year :(