yes I’ve teared up like 6 times thinking about the halftime show last night AND WHAT

*stares in elijah mikaelson*

i should be able to put my phone on Please Disturb mode so my friends know I want attention

trans person: im trans society: okay your lesbian friend you're trying to ignore: have u heard of tony award winning broadway musical death becomes her

PMDD has you googling shit that gives you a hotline before the results

fell asleep listening to green day and woke up to this in my drafts 😭😭

🙄

Liquor? Ya, if she’ll let me

My version of flirting is looking at someone I find attractive multiple times & hoping they're braver than me

"women don't want flowers, we want--" the answer is both. I want both. swords and flowers. skulls and flowers. trinkets and flowers. I want it all AND FLOWERS.

Bro I dare you to step into an arts college, you are gonna be very surprised

commenting “nightmare blunt rotation” on everyone’s valentine’s day photos

this is my version of an egot

“damn how is your penne a la vodka so good” I don’t know!! unrelated but we are out of butter and heavy cream

May I six seven them big naturals, mlady?

no no no, you dont understand - surely THIS $13 salad will fix my mental health!