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James Felton Jokes on them, I breathe helium. I can’t speak highly enough of it

I think everybody should resign.

BREAKING: You will be pleased to know Boris Johnson has decided he can afford to offer you a support package today, now that doing so might save his job. If it wasn't for partygate, he would let you all fucking well starve x

Boris Johnson keeps saying “we are listening” so why doesnt he hear everyone saying please could you fuck right off

Two tickets to Minions: The Rise of Gru, please

Jonathan Pie ripping Boris Johnson is always a joy to watch.

The Tory leadership candidates want credit for telling Boris Johnson to go. But here's what they recently said about him.

BREAKING: All 5 contestants of the Tory leadership debate have agreed to spend the night telling us how terrible Corbyn would've been and everything bad is the fault of refugees. Don't forget to tune into Britain's Got No Talent at 7.30 on C4. The winner gets to destroy the UK x

The Man from Delcunte.

It would be really great if Dundee City Council had someone who could sort my residents parking ticket out or at least contact me to inform me if there's a problem or respond to my numerous requests to fix it.

We're giving away a glorious Tiny Tina & Butt Stallion 8" Vinyl Art Toy and six 4" Minis to one lucky winner from our pals Mighty Jaxx! Feat: 🧙‍♀️ Tiny Tina 🪙 Mimic 🦄 Butt Stallion 🍄 Mushroom 🐑 Skeep The contest runs from today until Sept. 30! Enter: bit.ly/3RBnR7U

This is very clever- click and scroll right kamikwasi.tax

RT if you think there should be a General Election.

Never skip thumb day.

Giveaway time! 📕 Like this Tweet and Retweet for a chance to win a copy of Parasitic Diseases. We’ll pick a winner on Wednesday, March 15th at noon EST US. Contest open to anyone in the world with a valid delivery address. Good luck!

Enjoying this remake of Spartacus starring only ex-footballers more than I expected.

I for one won’t be comfortable watching match of the day until it’s presented by someone who “could go either way” on fascism

Hi, Ofgem and E.ON Energy UK can you explain what do I as a customer receive for the daily standing charge? What extra value do I get for paying this fee?Given that the costs of oil and gas are coming down, why are you increasing this on my #energybills