I'm sure plenty of successful people eat an entire box of Raisinets in their underwear before 10am.
*me talking to a mirror*

Listen. Shut up! it could work.

Had to learn the hard way that necromancy has nothing to do with necco wafers.

I relate more to comic book villains as I get older

Excuse me, I believe you're blocking my blind spot

Your phone company won’t tell you about this incredible hack but if you drop your device into a toilet, flush it and walk away, your angst and anger will be reduced by as much as 40%

5 feep deet

Anger and rage as a major part of the healing process. Being angry at people who let you down, exploited your trust, or didn’t love you in the ways you needed to be loved is a healthy response. It’s your body reminding you that you matter and the beginning of greiving.

'This isn't canon!'

- guy arguing that part of a pretend world isn't *really* part of the pretend world

just heard a goose make the deflated
Price Is Right losing horn sound

Real loneliness is when your person doesn’t really get you.

Can't!

Taking a sad song and making it better.

I just try to avoid people who need drama to feel alive...which is why I have very few friends

You need a little madness to live your life creatively.

Wanna sit a bar and guess other peoples life stories based on how they look?

Keep your weirdos close

this >>>>

I love simple things. Hot coffee in the morning. Sweet “I’m thinking about” text during the day. A warm hug before bed… a generous transfer to my bank account while I sleep.

People who shit on other people's happiness are the worst kind of people.